Sanji's Rehabilitation
by Lolly Dream
Summary: What went on with Sanji's rehabilitation, the side Oda didn't want you to see. SanjixZoro/ FrankyxRobin / Yaoi-ish flavored / Drabble / 200% CRACK


**Title:** Sanji's Rehabilitation

**Rating:** M

**Disclaimer:** I do not own One Piece nor do I make any money from this.

**Pairings:** SanjixZoro / FrankyxRobin / RobinxDragon

**Beta Read By:** Feral Inari

**Summary:** What went on with Sanji's rehabilitation, the side Oda didn't want you to see. SanjixZoro/ FrankyxRobin / Yaoi-ish flavored / Drabble / 200% CRACK

**Warnings:** *SPOILER* if you're not up to date with the manga. Naughty language, yaoi-ish.

**A/N's:** So Lolly has got over her grudge of Oda killing Ace, (_because he is not really dead, it was all a huge cover up as I refuse to believe anything else_!) and also the two year time jump changing how they all look a bit. I'm learning how to deal with that. Anyways point is Lolly's over it and has now read the new chapters and we all know what happens when Lolly does that. Now and then in my warped little head the story comes out differently.

This story takes place between

Chapter 604: In To The Depths /page 10 - Chapter 605: The Kraken and the Pirates / page 3

Joke reference to Caribou for saying he ate the Numa Numa Fruit.

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Z&S ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Caribou ran his long tongue over his wide lips, "Oh my what a … cuuuuuutie pie… You're the "Cat Burglar," aren't youuu?"

Nami could only give an unimpressed stare to the new unwelcome guest they now found themselves with.

With a tic forming on the side of his head, Sanji was up and over to defend his darling Nami at once. "How dare you look at our beautiful Navigator with such despicable eyes?" he fumed stuffing his hands in his pockets and with hardly any effort at all, he kicked the bastard, "Jabot!"

Lying beaten and broken on the floor Caribou groaned in pain, "… Ohhh …!"

Flashing a winning smile to his dear Nami Sanji gave her the thumbs up, "Nami-san! Now everything's fi-…" and that was all he could take. Those sensuous curves once more doing him in as wicked thoughts flooded his head.

"BUUUUHHHHH!" and Sanji skyrocketed up into the air with yet another nose bleed.

Shocked and pissed off Sanji had done this again, as it could risk popping the bubble around the ship, Usopp cried out, "You are really getting to be a pain in the ass with that!"

Thinking this over logically Chopper stated, "We should give him rehabilitation, with low intensity photos."

"Eh? You mean like soft core porn?" Franky asked.

Blushing brightly under his brown fur Chopper waved his hooves, "Oh no, no nothing like that. Besides I think that would be too much for him …" Chopper stopped what he said to let his mouth gape open at what Franky was doing.

"Here cook-bro get an eye full of this!" the large man held up a Playboy magazine opened to the centerfold of a naked woman. He held it up to Sanji's face.

"Kyaaaaa!" Sanji at once went into another nosebleed fit but thanks to Usopp stayed down as the long nose man held him by the shoulders.

"Bastard! Listen to what people say!" Chopper fumed.

"Huh? What I do?" Franky questioned scratching at his nearly bald head.

"I think what Chopper-san meant was something a little less provocative. Here Sanji-san try this." Robin offered and handed the cook some photos.

Sanji took them and at once had hearts in his eyes as they were pictures of Robin herself with the Rebellion all standing around together. However his nose started to trickle blood making a puddle on the deck at the sight of Robin kissing someone in one of the photos.

Stretching his neck over Luffy blinked with a bland stare, "Is that my dad?"

"Whoa Robin and Luffy's dad are kissing!" Usopp cried out.

"WHAT?" Franky roared out and ripped the photo from Sanji's overly pale hand as the cook was barley now holding on.

Looking over the photo Franky was shocked as he next turned angry eyes to Robin, "What the hell?"

Robin blinked, "What? We where separated at the time so it does not count."

"From the crew not our relationship you dumbass!" Franky shot back. "What the hell makes you … Oi! Oi! Are you listening?" Franky then demanded as he saw Robin had now turned her back to him.

Robin looked over her shoulder at him, "Hum …oh I'm sorry I don't converse with appliances," she replied, pissed that Franky had called her a dumbass again.

As Robin and Franky bickered the others went on to ignore Nami and whatever it was she was babbling about.

"It's really going to be a problem if he keeps doing this," Usopp pointed out and blew on his tea.

"I wonder what happened to him during those two years to make him like this," Chopper questioned and sipped his tea.

"Who knows with him," Zoro replied seeming bored by this topic too.

"Shishishishi, I'm sure Sanji will be fine, he is really strong," Luffy tried to comfort their worries… anyway, he found it funny.

"GHAAAA!" Sanji fall over as more blood pooled from his nose.

Brooke looked up and hid the panties he had been showing Sanji behind his back as Chopper rushed over. "Yohohoho, he seems to be worse then I thought."

"Ahhhh he is gunna bleed to death!" quickly Chopper went to work on getting Sanji hooked up with a blood transfusion.

With a bit more blood in him Sanji was feeling better, "Thanks Chopper … I owe…"

"A Krakennn!"

Everyone was over to the side of the ship looking then as Luffy declared he was going to tame it.

Caribou started to hyperventilate, "What's with these people!" he questioned to himself as it seemed the Straw Hat crew were not planning to run away from the Kraken.

Doing his breathing exercises was not helping to calm Caribou any so he did what he always did in times like this to help calm himself. Tapping the deck with his foot he picked up a beat and started to move side to side as he sang, "_Ma-ia-hii, Ma-ia-huu, Ma-ia-hoo, Ma-ia-haha_!"

"Yohoho! What a fun song!" Brooke cheered and slipped up to Caribou and put his arm around the other man as he now joined in the song too.

Together they sang, "_Ma-ia-hii, Ma-ia-huu, Ma-ia-hoo, Ma-ia-haha_!"

Turning from fussing over Sanji, Chopper's eyes lit up with stars in them at seeing Caribou and Brooke, he tapped at Usopp's shoulder to get him to look at this too.

Usopp turned around and at once mimicked Chopper's expression and together they ran over to join in the chorus.

Now the four of them sang, "_Ma-ia-hii, Ma-ia-huu, Ma-ia-hoo, Ma-ia-haha_!" as they leant to one side and then the other.

All of the singing finally got Luffy's attention and he looked between those singing and the Kraken seeming torn over which to be more amazed by. Figuring the Kraken was not going anywhere Luffy ran over to rush into the song as well.

"_Ma-ia-hii, Ma-ia-huu, Ma-ia-hoo, Ma-ia-haha_!" sang the five of them.

Nami looked over and felt her right eye twitch, "Really? At a time like this guys?" As they did not seem to be listening to her she sighed and looked over to Franky by her side, "Can do something about this please?"

"Sure thing sis!" Franky at once happily replied, yet rushed over only to join in the can-can dance the others were now doing and join in the song as well.

"_Hello, Salute, It's me your duke, and I made something that's real to show you how I feel._"

Nami slapped a hand to her face in a face-palm.

"Fufufufuu," Robin giggled as she lifted a hand to hide her mouth, taking a break from her sketch of the Kraken.

As all that was going on Zoro poked the cook from where he was laying on the deck. "Oi, are you going to live number 7?"

Sanji turned a glaring eye to Zoro, "Will you let that shit go already?"

Zoro ignored the comment and squatted down at the knees to better get a look at the cook, his face getting right in Sanji's.

The blond stiffened and his face flushed, "Oi! What the hell do you think you're doing you shitty Marimo?"

"Just looking at your ridiculous brow," Zoro replied without missing a beat.

Sanji gritted his teeth and feeling a surge of strength jumped up to plant a foot to Zoro's face, but the swordsman was ready for him and with two swords blocked the kick.

Pressing into the bottom Sanji's shoe with his swords to make Sanji strain to keep his foot in place Zoro leered as he questioned, "So cook what's the real reason you didn't want to go to the beach with me?"

Sanji was once again blushing, "That does not concern you kelp for brains!" Sanji was quick to snap.

"Oh? Really? Sure it's not just you knowing you would not last longer than a minute if I took you again?" Zoro tease and almost fell forward as Sanji pulled his foot back to fall in a huge depressed state surrounded by darkness as he drew designs into the deck with his finger.

Zoro regaining his balance blinked at the reaction he got, "What the hell cook?"

Sanji still in his dark slump went on to drawn designs with his finger, "Don't judge me! You have no clue what it's like in hell!"

Zoro cocked his head to the side at that and watched Sanji for a little bit longer only to give out a heavy sigh. Putting away his swords Zoro came over and picked Sanji up by the collar of his shirt and dragged him down below deck.

Meanwhile the six were still at it doing the can-can as they sang out loudly, "Ma-ia-hii, Ma-ia-huu, Ma-ia-hoo, Ma-ia-haha!"

After one more chorus of that Nami had, had all she could take and finally snapped. "CUT THAT SHIT OUT ALREADY!" she demanded and promptly gave each a hit to the head making large lumps swell to their heads as they were knocked flat on their asses.

Crossing her arms Nami calmed down some, "We need to figure out what we're going to do here."

Zoro and Sanji then came back up top each zipping up their pants and looked around to see what they had missed the mere minute they had been away.

Luffy getting to his feet adjusted his hat back up on his head then yelled out an order to Nami, "Hey Nami! Head straight for the octopus!"

Freaking out at the sudden order Nami waved a hand trying to dismiss it, "Don't be ridiculous! Look at the ship that octopus is gripping! Do you want to turn out like that?"

Suddenly now calm and cool Sanji tried to help ease his poor little flower's frantic state, "Now, now Nami-san, I'm with Bubahhh …" he started to weaken once more as he turned his head with a love sick gaze but having done what he just had with Zoro was able to pull himself back together and turn his face back to Nami as he finished his sentence, "With you!"

Shocked at what he was seeing, Usopp's eyes bugged out of his head, "He withstood it! Great job Sanji!"

Rather surprised as well Chopper concluded, "This is thanks to his rehabilitation and the fact that Nami's wearing a coat!"

"Hm…" Zoro watched as he thought out loud to himself, "Almost a full recovery. Guess we will have to do that a few more times before the cook is back to his old self again." A slow grin came to Zoro's lips as the thought rather pleased him. He could for sure think of worse things to be doing rather than helping the cook.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Z&S ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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**Music Used:** Numa Numa - By Ozone

**A/N's:** And there it is my first drabble in months! Hope you all like my little take on what Oda did. I would also like to take a little moment to thank my wonderful friend Inari-chwan for being my Beta reader starting now for all my work! That's right you no longer will have to deal with my crappy spelling and grammar flaws. She really is amazing, you should check out her art work (which she has gifted many pics to me and can be found on my profile) and as well her stories! (She is also listed under one of my fave authors).

Lolly has big plans and will be updating all of her work in time! So make sure you keep your eyes open for it all because I'm coming back like a tidal wave!

And now Lolly just has one last thing to say!

*taps foot to the floor*

_Ma-ia-hii, Ma-ia-huu, Ma-ia-hoo, Ma-ia-haha_!

…

**Inari-chwan's Corner:** *blushes* Lolly… you're making people look at me! *hides behind author*

All I will say is I'm glad you're back to writing!

Peoples… If this is one of the first things you have read from Lolly, I suggest you go read some of her other fics too. Its good reading.

…that's it. *squeaks and goes back to her doodle corner away from the public*


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